Men's Work with Geoff Lamb
I have been working with men's groups for the last three years. These groups focus on the therapeutic aspects of men's work although we do not ignore the importance of political and social issues. Much of my work with men is influenced by my training with Tricia Scott and before that at North London Poly, but I am currently most influenced by the thinking of such writers as John Rowan (See Healing the Male Psyche) and Roger Horrocks (Masculinity in Crisis)
. These two writers seem, like me, to be treading a difficult tightrope of acknowledging the significant negative effect of patriarchy as an oppression of women whilst at the same time both supporting men in their difficulty and affirming that change, if it is going to have any permanence, must come from within. Most important, to me, is seeing patriarchy as a system of rigidity which is a defence rather than something intrinsic to masculinity. Although patriarchy apparently confers significant advantages on men, the cost of those advantages is enclosure within a rigid defensive armour which severely limits the contact we can have with women, each other and ourselves.
In working with men, either individually or in men's groups, I think it's vital that the ways in which we might assert, or want to assert, our perceived superiority as a gender are owned, given space and worked through so that they can be seen for what they are - ways of covering up our deep insecurity. I find that once this insecurity can be acknowledged and talked about, support can be found from the group which enables us to be less dependent on our defences and therefore more open to contact with each other and with the world.
I could go on to hypothesise about how this insecurity arises - talking about societal changes and absent fathers as Bly does, but my problem with this is that it presupposes some sort of "Golden Age" either in the past or in the future when these things weren't/won't be a problem. I don't know whether it's the fatalism of advancing years, but at the moment I'm much more interested dealing with the present. Helping men to move from not being able, for whatever reason, to let others get close enough to give them support to a situation where they feel able to do this, however briefly, is what excites and moves me about men's work. Perhaps this is because I know from my own experience how difficult and wonderful this movement can be.
One of the problems I had found with running an on-going men's group was getting everybody together at the same time in the same place. There were always demands of work and family which seemed to take precedence over time for ourselves as men. I have to be honest and say that I'm not sure how easy it is for me as a father and husband to give myself this sort of time. One solution has been to run two residential workshops in early summer. I have a tentative plan to run a long weekend workshop this year in early July. The details haven't been finalised yet, but contact me if you're interested.
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In 2000 I ran a residential week in Southern France (See above picture) and it seemed to work very well. Here is a quote from one of the participants:-
"There is an immediacy that I like about Geoff Lamb’s work. It is important to understand the causes and background to men’s insecurities, but it is relatively easy to stay in the theoretical. Geoff uses his experience of working with men to move you into unsafe areas, within a supportive and sensitive environment. He reads a situation with perception and focus, encouraging risk in expression. This can be extremely liberating and surprising, particularly when you feel movement away from preconceived notions. I think being a man can be an isolating experience, and we don’t generally take time-out to allow ourselves this sort of opportunity" Matt – Conat Men’s Workshop.
